Dear Men and Women:

I am fat. I know this. I am comfortable with my body. I do not need nor want your approval. I would like, however, to clear up a few myths.

Fat does not lower my IQ. I am an intelligent, thoughtful, creative woman. I am able to talk to you about Chaucer, Shakespeare, Zen Buddhism, the occult, philosophy and the Bible. I create entire worlds in my head and bring characters to life in such a way that makes you want to join them in their travels and travails. I am not stupid.

Fat does not make me lazy. Sunday mornings do that. I work hard and put my full effort into everything I do. Perhaps I can’t do the splits anymore or hike the five miles down the River Valley, but I’ll do my best. You can’t be a lazy writer. They don’t exist.

Fat does not make me ugly or lessen my sex appeal. I am a beautiful, sexy woman. If you feel disgust or shame when you look at me, keep it to yourself. I don’t need to hear it. I don’t expect everyone to be sexually attracted to me but don’t try to make me feel like I should be asexual. I am a very sexual, sensual person and enjoy the company of many men and women who enjoy my body. Accept that.

Fat does not make me desperate for your company. Don’t act like you’re doing me a favour by being seen with me. If you are ashamed to be seen with me, that’s your problem, not mine. There are far too many people out there who do want to be with me because I’m beautiful and funny and intelligent.

Fat does not mean I’m unhealthy. My health is an issue between me and my doctor. I’m a 50 year old women with the common health concerns any 50 year old woman faces. My fat does not give you licence to dig into my medical history so you can use it as a means to justify your discrimination and bullying of me. This is not your body so don’t you worry about how well it’s functioning and don’t give me that crap about how concerned you are about my health. That’s just bullshit and we both know it.

Fat does not determine my choices. No, you can’t lecture me on what I should wear or eat or where I should go or how I should get there. My fat does not give you any right to determine what my choices are or should be.

If you are uncomfortable with my body then that’s your problem. My body, my rules. If you have a problem with the way I look then look away. Keep your tongue behind your teeth on any opinions you have on my life.

I am fat. I am not going to crawl into a hole because you can’t accept that I’m beautiful. I will wear dresses and spandex and cotton and bikinis and I will dance and play and run and I will be happy. Either accept that or get out of my way.

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