I am sick to fucking death of #Ableg and what passes for politics in this province. It’s like a bad version of the song, “Stuck in the Middle With You”

“Clowns to the left of me,

Jokers to the right…”

“Stuck in the Middle With You” – Stealers Wheels

And what’s in the centre is starting to look like the goo left in the container in my fridge (sorry, Greg Clark, but it is). We have these three candidates all talking and not a single one is listening. It’s like a bad script that the Three Stooges turned down. The only thing missing is the theme song from American Horror Story. Since our beloved leaders insist on acting like refugees from a bad sitcom, then I’ll treat them as such.

Starring:

Rachel Notley as the “Good Girl”

Notley will be that proverbial “good girl” who is always trying to do right. She’s the one with the latest fashions and is always involved in all the groups. A cheerleader by nature, there’s nothing she can’t do (except get a pipeline but, by golly, she’s trying). She can flip from being a geek to being an ally in the blink of an eye. You think she’s everyone’s best friend and confident. However, beneath this sparkly exterior is an interior you should beware of. She makes promises and then half-fulfills them. Said she was going to end poverty and then the bulk of the changes she makes only affects children because adults in poverty don’t make feel good stories. Oh and she’s a member of the Glee Club, too.

Jason Kenney as the “Villain”

Kenney thinks of himself as some kind of Sauron figure who is all-knowing and has a ring of power. The truth is he’s more of a Gollum figure who’s tricksy but not much else. He treats people in the same way Gollum fishes. Grabs them by his bare hands and then smashes them against a rock while singing. He’s forever searching for his Precious but those damn hobbits (the media) keep getting in his way. I’m pretty sure there’s a giant spider out there he’s friends with, too, but that may just be my imagination.

Stephen Mandel as the “Heroic Wannabe”

Mandel has this picture in his mind where he’s a cross between the star quarterback and the nature loving hippie. The truth is that he’s so focused on his image and people’s perceptions of him that he never stops to think that he’s actually doing damage. Everyone loves him and when he saves us we’ll thank him (yeah, I’d still love to thank him for that monstrosity in Edmonton called Roger’s Place Arena). The rest of us peons are too simple to understand the grandiosity of his plans. He’s a member of the Glee Club, too but has trouble staying on key.

I am sick to death of the mockery that has become Alberta politics. I look at my friends and see them hurting because of politicians who don’t really give a damn about the people they’re supposed to be serving. Like my one friend who’s been waiting 3 YEARS for a hip replacement and can barely walk some days. Or my other friend who was working above minimum wage before the increase. Now she’s just making minimum wage and there’s no raise in sight. She works for a small business owner who pays her what they can as it is. Or my other friend who finds himself at the whims in the Alberta Oilsands industry. Not one of them is being heard by the politicians who run around in some horrific slapstick of what the Alberta Legislature is supposed to be. Let’s not even start talking about the reconciliation that’s supposed to be happening or the future of AISH recipients once they age out at 65. None of this even touches on rents skyrocketing in Edmonton or the problems in healthcare. Not one of them has even looked at the base amounts for those on Income Support (which haven’t changed since the late 70s). You want a laugh? Ask any one of them what they think about the Universal Basic Income program.

The only person in all of this who has ever approached me to listen to my fears and frustrations was Greg Clark. A man I supported until Mandel stole the leadership away from him. Am I bitter? Yes. Clark is everything a politician is supposed to be and now he’s relegated to the back seat. I guess that’s what you get for actually caring about your constituents.

I’m done. This whole thing makes me sick.

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