My attempt at crocheting a tiger.

Derf

In this past year I took up crochet. Some of my efforts have been… well… we call him Derf. Other efforts, though, have been amazing and, encouraged, I’m working on a sweater for my mother for Christmas.

I originally took up crochet as a means to help me control the shaking in my hands. I’ve always had tremors in my hands and it sometimes makes life difficult. During an anxiety attack, the shaking can get so bad I can’t hold a glass of water. I thought crochet would help me deal with that and it has.

However, there has been an unexpected side effect; it calms me. I suffer from anxiety and sometimes it gets so bad you can’t even remember how to breathe. Thoughts race in your head, each one worse than the last. I can go from the thought that someone’s fine to they’re dead in under a minute during an anxiety attack. It’s not fun.

Baby Christmas Outfit

Baby Christmas Outfit

There is something soothing, though, in the repetition of crochet that helps calm me. I’m not sure what it is or how it works. I do know that I can work through a few rows of crochet and my brain starts to slow down. It’s as though my thoughts start to mesh with the rhythm of the knots I’m creating. Eventually I simply lose myself in the project and all that anxiety melts away.

I’ve gotten to a point in my crochet where I’m starting to try and sell it. I’m getting better at it and love the more artistic side of it. I’ll never be that person you see at the Farmer’s Market selling one of 300 dishcloths she’s made. However, I will keep creating one of a kind items

Baby Blanket in Purple

Baby Blanket

that can be treasured for years to come. And, meanwhile, I’ll use my crochet to give me a solid foundation when my world seems to shatter around me.

That is the true beauty of crochet.

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