I read about the hack that Ashley Madison suffered recently. Now, I haven’t read the manifesto that the hacker calling himself “Impact Team” has published but I’m sure it’s full of lofty but delusional ideals and pretends to be for the people. Or some blathering nonsense like that. Why is it the psychopaths all have manifestos? I also admit some jealousy. I want to be crazy enough to write a manifesto.

However, that’s not the point. Somehow, someone’s got their back up about Ashley Madison’s purpose to provide married people a chance to meet someone with whom to have an affair (okay, I’m really working hard at not ending on a preposition). What I want to know is why? What possible business is it of anyone else’s who uses that site? For everyone’s information, I use that site and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’ve met some wonderful SINGLE men on there. Yes, sunshine, they do exist.

Somehow we’ve come to believe that if it’s on the Internet, we somehow have a right to have an opinion/take action/whine about it. Today we’re going to play a game called, “None of Your Business.” Let’s see if you can figure out which of these scenarios are your business or not. By the way, these scenarios have all happened. I have changed the names to protect identities.

  • The juicy gossip at work is that the boss is sleeping with the new girl. Everyone knows it has to be true based on the way she dresses. She’s a young 20-something that wears skirts above the knee, high heels, and v-cut tops despite her very large breasts. She’s oblivious of her sexuality in the way that most 20-somethings are.

    This is no one’s business. The young 20-something happened to be me. The whole gossip came out at the Christmas party where I learned that my friendship with my boss (and his wife, by the way) spurred this rumour. One of the gossip mongers, drunk on Christmas wine, got full of the Christmas spirit and decided to tell the wife. His wife was good about it and let everyone know she knew about our friendship and anything else was no one’s business. I was mortified.

  • A stay at home dad has become very close with his neighbour. He’s a veteran who’s just returned home a few months prior and he and his wife have decided to let him take a few months before deciding on where he wants his career to go. Dad has become very close to the stay at home mom next door and their kids often have play dates together. Everyone’s sure they’re having an affair. Word reaches his wife who begins to doubt his fidelity.

    Nope. Still not your business. The man was dealing with some PTSD and being at home with his family helped him a lot. I don’t know, nor do I care, if the neighbour and he were having an affair. Not my business.

  • A very wealthy man gets an account on Ashley Madison. This man has worked hard to provide for his family but his marriage has always been one of convenience.

    Say it with me. None of my business. Unless the guy or his wife are sleeping with you, you don’t get an opinion or get to do anything about it. It’s their life. The wife did find out about the account and didn’t care.

  • A gay couple down the street are in their backyard arguing. It’s not loud but it does attract attention.

    Yes, you can go over and see if there’s a problem. If a couple is fighting, just make sure that it isn’t domestic abuse. Otherwise, go your way and let them sort it out. Turns out they were fighting about how to make some renovations to their home. We’ve all been there. You want to make improvements but can’t agree on how.

  • There is a rumour going around that you’ve heard from your 15 year old son. The rumour is that the 40 something woman down the street is sleeping with teenage boys. Some as young as 14.

    By all means get involved!! This woman is a predator and should be stopped. This woman was never stopped because no adults wanted to get involved. She continued on for many years and did some serious damage to the boys she had sex with (although I want to use the word molested here).

Do you see a pattern going on here? If there is a chance you need to call someone who drives a vehicle with a siren on it, get involved. If not, it’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Each time you think you want to get involved, ask yourself if a siren is going to be involved or not. If not, go do something else.